do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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