That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
