I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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