Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
