I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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