I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
