i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
