god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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