Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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