I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
