3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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