Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
