If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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