I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
