My room smells like vodka and shame
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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