Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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