you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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