And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
