I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
