What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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