Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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