i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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