D3 body, D1 cock
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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