just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
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I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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