I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
