Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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