If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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