gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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