Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
