also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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