i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
