About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
