Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
