he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
