I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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