i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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