actually, I'm a sock model
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!