You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
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Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful