That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️