I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.