so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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