How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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