non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
