grandma shit on top of the toilet
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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