I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
