So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
