I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
