I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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