He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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