Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
