I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize