South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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