So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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