I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just cropdusted the office
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
did you just send me my own nude
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
