great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
