I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
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But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
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Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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