thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
