I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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