Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
