you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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