if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
