If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
