she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
