he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize