I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
