I wish I could teleport
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
