fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
